Dr.Yashaswi Shrestha 
Have you ever gone through a breakup? Having to lose someone you considered the love of your life can be soul-crushing and may lose a part of your own self in the process. During these times, many people can lend out their shoulders for you to cry on and offer you support. However, no one can help unless you are ready to help yourself. So don’t worry! We’re going to get through these dark times together. Want to know how to deal with all the pain? Want to know how to actually forget about your ex and move on? Here we give you some advice you should definitely know.
Talk about it
Bottling up your feelings is the worst thing you can do when dealing with a tough situation. So when you’re going through a difficult breakup, it is a good idea to talk to people about it. It may be your friends, co-workers, parents- anyone you feel comfortable with. Sometimes you might even find comfort talking to a stranger- maybe the bartender or just someone sitting next to you on the bus. People will have different pieces of advice to give and who knows? You might find it useful. If you believe you need professional help, do not hold yourself back- talking to a therapist may be the best choice you’ll make. In addition, if you are not comfortable speaking with anyone about it, you can always pour your thoughts and emotions into your diary.
Maintain your distance
Although you may become good friends later, it is never a good idea to keep in touch with your ex right after your breakup. Cut all ties from him/her at least for a few weeks. Though you may be tempted to, do not go around stalking their social media pages. Although after a breakup, you will find yourself focusing on all the positives of the relationship, you must keep reminding yourself of all the negatives too. Write down all the reasons the relationship didn’t work, note down all the toxic qualities your ex had and why things probably won’t work out in the future too. Clear out and remove items from your house that remind you of them. Keeping away may be difficult for a little while, but it is an essential step.
Focus on yourself
When in a relationship, putting your significant other’s wants over your own can become a habit. So now is your chance to stop doing that! Focus on yourself! Explore your passions, take that salsa class your ex never want you to join, get that haircut your ex didn’t want you to get, take yourself out on dates, write poems, read books, make new friends- do what you like doing. Start exercising, eat yummy nutritious food, and take care of yourself because you are the most important person in your life. Build up your self-esteem. What are your positive attributes? Write them down into a list and remind yourself everyday what an amazing person you are! Then set up a goal for yourself, and do everything in your power to achieve it.
Refrain from getting a rebound
Although some people say that in order to forget about someone, it is crucial to find someone new. However, it is not a good idea to get into another relationship without giving yourself enough time to mend your heartache first. Getting into a rebound relationship is not fair to the other person, and neither is it a healthy way to cope. You may just be trying to mask your sadness with the excitement of starting a new relationship. But this is just a temporary cure that will leave you feeling guilty and your emotions all mixed up. Be brave enough to acknowledge the pain and deal with the pain.
Spend time with the ones you love
You invest so much time into your relationship- going on dates, buying them gifts, planning the next trip with them, making sure you’re there to help them through their bad days and the list goes one. Many a times, they become the center of your universe- so much so that you often aren’t able to make time for other people in your life who care about you just as much. So take this as an opportunity to rebuild your relation with your family and friends. Go out to eat, watch movies together, explore nature or take a trip to the beauty salon together. Realize that you don’t have to be in a relationship with someone to be loved. Create memories with your friends and spend lots of quality time with them.
Give yourself time
Getting over a breakup is not a process that happens overnight. Different people cope differently and you may seem to be finding it more difficult than others. But don’t be too hard on yourself, give yourself time. Trust the process, trust yourself. Eventually you can and will get through this!
